HVF022 – Kym Hamer

Tony Winyard 0:00
Happy versus flourishing Episode 22. Welcome to the podcast where we give you ideas and small little ways you can improve different areas of your life. Today's guest is Kym Hamer. And she made the journey from where she grew up in Melbourne and Australia to move to London A few years ago, and without any clear path of what exactly she was going to do, and how she transformed her life from from living in Melbourne, to move into London. So we're going to hear from Kim very soon. If you do like this podcast, why not subscribe to it? So you get it on a regular basis when it's released every Tuesday lunchtime, and maybe leave a review so other people know your thoughts about this show. Hope you do like it. And here is Kym. Happy versus flourishing. And my guest today Kym Hamer, how are you? Kym?

Kym Hamer 1:00
I'm really well Tony, how are you?

Tony Winyard 1:03
I'm pretty good. So I think your accent betrays where you actually are.

Kym Hamer 1:09
Well, I am actually in London, but my accent is Australian. You're right. I'm I'm a bit confused about that. But I've been in London for 17 years.

Tony Winyard 1:21
Your accent is still quite strong.

Kym Hamer 1:23
Exactly. So I'm told. So I'm told by everybody who speaks to me.

Tony Winyard 1:29
Where in Australia are you from?

Kym Hamer 1:31
and from Melbourne. So I've been watching with a fair bit of interest over the you know, this last little period when they've been sort of in and out of lockdowns and all of that sort of thing. But luckily, they're all out and about, and all my family as well. And things like that happy and flourishing, we could say so. Yeah, so unfortunately, you know, it's been a long time between visits, but 2021.

Tony Winyard 1:58
For Can you tell what the audience what is? What is it that you do?

Kym Hamer 2:03
Yes. Where do I start? So I'm a, I'm a business coach, I'm a marketer at heart. And my business works on a building brand new methodology. That's my, my, my key programme and and what I talk about, and what I do is help people in businesses to unlock their greatest asset, which is really ourselves. So all of my work is really around that. Same with individuals. It's really around visibility and owning who you are and branding and applying some of those marketing principles that I learned over the 28 years of a senior marketing career. How do you convert them into something that's really useful and practical for your own purposes or within your business or career?

Tony Winyard 2:54
And so when did you start to do these do you do? Is it one to one coaching? Are you working in corporate or how is it

Kym Hamer 3:00
it's a bit of a combination, they're building brand new philosophy is about one to one coaching and has been, but I'm currently working on a number of different opportunities to take that into a more corporate environment. So I have a apart from my my coaching business, which is called Artemis futures. I have a second business interest with two business partners in the Middle East. So that is the customer experience and service Association. And part of the building brand new philosophy extends into how you build great branded company cultures. So we are also developing some opportunities to take the building brand new philosophy into bigger businesses and corporates. You mentioned about the 2020 years marketing and

Tony Winyard 3:51
what what sort of things were you doing?

Kym Hamer 3:54
Yeah, so was it was a bit of a career split by two halves actually. So I spent the first 10 years or so of my career maybe a little bit more in Australia and that was predominantly working in I guess more traditional marketing roles in fast moving consumer goods. So I worked for you know, for for food and beverage businesses, I worked for a cleaning products business. So a lot of my interactions were what we would talk about, you know, with with the big supermarkets and and those sorts of things. When I moved to the UK, one of the challenges was that it felt like everything I'd done in Australia, I was told, well, you haven't done it here. So, you know, you've got to start from scratch, which was been disheartening. But I got into some business to business type roles, and I fell in love with business to business. I love that relationship. That happens when you look at the whole, I guess that the whole value chain and all the partnerships that need to go on through the value chain. In order to deliver something great to the customer, so I've worked in tea, I've worked in airline retail, I've worked in digital media. My last proper job was six years for a global packaging company where I lead on product strategy, innovation and customer collaboration with customers like Red Bull and Heineken and Coca Cola, people like that. And then I sort of was offered a package, we were bought out by our competitor, and I decided to take the package rather than go with them took a year off and then so I don't know that there's a Kim shaped box in corporate anymore, I might have to go and build my own. And here I am.

Tony Winyard 5:45
And how easy or difficult was that?

Kym Hamer 5:49
I think what was interesting is that it took me a while to have that aha moment about the Kim shaped box, you know, I decided to have a gap year, in something I'd never done before. I didn't do that when I finished uni. So I had this gap here and sort of came back in refreshed and ready to go back into a corporate role. And you know, senior roles, take some time, and you want to get the right fit. So it's about nine months. And I had this particular interview for a charity out in, in West London and lovely charity, great people. And I'd been for the final interview, and it was down to two of us. And when a recruiter rang me, she told me that they decided to go with the other candidate. And I remember sitting on the phone and listening to her and thinking, why am I not disappointed? You know, saying all the right things, you know, you know, I'm sorry to hear that. But, you know, deep inside, I kind of thought, I'm not that I'm not that bothered, if that makes sense. And it was in that moment, I just had this blinding flash of, I've been looking for Kim shank box in all of this job search and probably, you know, through the last few years of my career, and it just doesn't exist out there in the way I want it. So it was about a nine month realisation of doing that. That was in September by January, the first I opened my coaching practice. So the decision was quick, and the activation is quick. But nothing, I think builds your resilience faster than going from corporate to becoming an entrepreneur and realising that you might have some skills, but there's a whole lot of new stuff. You need to learn about yourself and about being an entrepreneur. So yeah, it's at its ups and downs.

Tony Winyard 7:36
Once you actually started doing it how did you find it? Was it really tough?

Kym Hamer 7:43
Yeah, it was, I think that the biggest challenge was trying to, I think, identify what I was about in terms of, you know, the types of people I wanted to work with, you know, I'm a, I'm a marketer, by training, I have a psychology degree and a marketing degree. And that's really where I've played most of my career. But I've, I've tended to do things in a bit more of a broader sense. So I've, you know, I've led business units, I've led business turnarounds, I've run sales teams, I've led customer innovation collaboration teams, I've been the person that's, you know, they've said, we've got this idea to do something, can you start up? So I had all these other skills, which is why when I work with businesses and individuals solopreneurs, they get the benefit of wider business skills, because that's where all the strategy and the thinking about how to operationalize that strategy and business comes from. But when you talk to people about, well, I'm a business coach, it's a bit broad, they kind of go well, that's lovely, but it's not very specific about answering a need, that people have. And yeah, and I didn't want to just be another marketing coach or another marketing consultant, because, you know, there's so many business coaches, so many marketing coaches and consultants out there, I thought, well, what's what's different about me, what's my unique edge, my unique selling proposition, and at the start of, sort of, at the end of last year, I, you know, I, I'd had some, some, some good success, but there's a lot of seating, you have to do a lot of showcases that you do a lot of pro bono stuff that you do, because what you're trying to do is build credibility and to actually have other people talk about why you're good rather than you just go out and say, I'm really good, you should hire me. And I started playing around with this building brand new proposition at the end of last year. It was something that had emerged as I'd been doing this pro bono work and some of the early paid projects that I had. And as I developed it, the pandemic hit in March, and what I was hearing was people felt invisible. They just felt invisible. And I thought, you know, that's what building brand new is about. It's about tapping into what you have, and learning how to harness that. So that you, you stop feeling invisible, you become visible, you become credible. You have influence, and, and all of those things apply in business, which is where I coach and practice, but they're their biggest things in life, as well, I think. So, yeah, it's been, um, we hate the J word, don't we, you know, it's been a bit of a journey, but as a result this year, but you know, I've kind of grown into that. And that has been my key proposition. And what's really interesting is after the first few few months, now, it's a proposition that attracts people to me, so why I while I do business development, and, and, and reach out to people, a lot of my business actually comes to me as well, as a result of that, that proposition. So it's been, it's been a learning, I'm still learning. I'll be lots of ups and downs still to come. But I have to say there's a, I feel like I know exactly what it is I want to offer. And there's a real freedom and joy in being able to do that as part of my work.

Tony Winyard 11:24
And so, before if I'm just wondering, how are you looking to develop? So if this pandemic situation hadn't have happened? Do you think you'd have been travelling more?

Kym Hamer 11:40
Yeah, I think I would have so the second business, I'm involved in customer experience and service Association, our first location that we've set up in is the Middle East in Dubai. And we originally had plans to launch with a live conference back in March for a live conference back in March, and of course, the pandemic hit, put paid to that. So, one, you know, there's there's just that direct impact. But But also, you know, we've been, we did launch the business, obviously, we did afford a virtual conference in October, which was fantastically well received, we built an online portal, which I don't know that we would have done quite so quickly. Had the pandemic not happened. And we were all forced to go, Okay, how do we deliver value to this community. But, you know, we've also had advisory opportunities through that business, and my two business partners are currently out in in Riyadh, at the moment, working with a major institution out there on a project over December, January. Now they've, they've travelled, but I've also been quite careful about how much travelling I do. So you know, we're having to make decisions around who travels. What does that mean? So I would have been out more in that region. I also have another client I work with who has clients in other parts of the world, and we've had conversations about well, you know, when we're allowed out again, it would be great if you could come and do some face to face work with clients. So you know, that they were some of the opportunities, but that just hasn't happened. And I've just, I guess, made the best of the situation. It's made me think differently about how I connect minds.

Tony Winyard 13:30
So you were talking about the, I guess, the different way you've had to go about working because of the pandemic and doing more stuff online, as indeed, most of the world has this year. And so do you think that will change the way you like, say, for example, the pandemic finished tomorrow, which obviously, is not going to but if everything was back to normal, would you change the way you work? Or how do you see things going in the future?

Kym Hamer 14:01
Yeah, it's a really good question. Because when before the pandemic here, I had, I was working on, you know, sort of several different streams, if you like, in the business, so I was starting to look, you know, do I build a you know, how can I build a speaker speaking income and that sort of thing, then I was also looking at more workshop type type models. And when the pandemic head, I just thought, you know what, that just has to go on the back burner. For now, if I had have been further along one or two of those paths, I may have been in a better position to convert them into the virtual world. But as I was just starting, I thought, Okay, let's go with what you know, what you already have, and see what you can do to convert them into virtual. So I think that's the first thing. What I've learned out of the out of the, you know, nine months I've been sitting in my living room Is that I really enjoy that the solitude of working in my own space. And while I, while I am looking forward to sort of getting out again and doing some face to face stuff, I'm not as wedded to it anymore. You know, I've really reassessed the priority of, you know, building a speaking career, for example, and I think there's other opportunities that are more in line, I think with with my temperament. It's not so much about the opportunity itself a bit about thinking about how have I really enjoyed working this year? What have been the challenges? You know, a great example is, I talked to my two business partners, quite a lot, quite different. And one of them has really struggled in the pandemic with with the lockdown. Because he's quite, he's quite social. He feels he's gotten quite lonely. And we laugh at him. Because when we have, you know, calls, we go, we think you're just making this longer because you're lonely. And he just laughs and says, Yes, whereas I'm really heavy. on my own, I can go for a few days without speaking to anybody quite happily, although that's a rarity. So it's made us be really open about how we connect, I get quite drained, with lots with lots of either face to face or even online face to face connection. That's just something temperamentally. I've always been quite an energetic about it, but it does drain me afterwards. And after the four day conference we had online, I said, I'm not gonna speak to anybody for three whole days, I'm just hibernating. So I think it's really interesting, when you're forced to reassess, you know, where you thrive?

Tony Winyard 17:01
And how, how about your quality of life? How, how has that changed?

Kym Hamer 17:08
I think my quality of lives actually improved. Apart from the fact that I guess that the travelling thing has been tough. Because I haven't been able to go and see family, I did see them sort of in the last time was August last year, I did have a trip to go and see a very, very close friend in November in the States. But you know, that had to be cancelled. And that is really disappointing, because while I don't connect, often those, those physical times, really mattered to me, sort of really blew me up. But But aside from that, I think my quality of life improved, I feel like very energised and focused. I feel like I've gotten sort of a bit more balanced about all the different elements I need in life. So we talk about, you know, the name of the podcast is happy and flourishing. And this period has been up and down, but it's forced me to look at when I'm not thriving or flourishing. What is it that's missing? And I've had, you know, not huge amounts of time, but because it hasn't been all outward stuff. I've been able to think and go oh, okay, that's interesting. I'm, I'm finding that I'm not coping with that. Or I'm stressed about that, or I'm not sleeping, what is it that's missing? What do I need to rebalance? And that's been that's been a really helpful exercise and a really energising exercise Actually, I felt very empowered, and guessed by the opportunity to do that.

Tony Winyard 18:53
Do you get out much in nature? How have you coped?

Kym Hamer 19:02
Yeah. So one of the things that I am an absolute Nutter about is reading and I mean reading in all forms, but particularly putting aside time for myself to read whatever I want. So I do a lot of business reading and, and growth reading if you like, but sometimes you just want to get stuck into a really good book and be left alone. And every couple of weeks. When we were allowed to go out and eat out. What I would do is it's like making a date with yourself. So I would go and sit in a cafe and order a nice lunch and just read for a couple of hours. If I can't go out I will do that at home. In the warmer months I would sit out on the patio, I have a lovely patio, in the winter months. It's not quite so appealing to sit outside but I do sit in the house. Nature has been an interesting one because I'm not That's not it's sort of not a habit of mine, it's, I don't feel myself being driven to get outside and have a walk. And that that's probably a missing, for me not not in a bad way, but just something about getting out of the house every day and things like that. So that's probably a little piece to look at. But apart from that, you know, I, every morning, I've restructured my morning so that the first hour is all about putting four essential ingredients in so I meditate, then I do exercise for 15 minutes, then I will write my three daily gratitudes. And then I will do whatever business or personal development reading I'm doing. So that's my first hour of every day.

Tony Winyard 20:50
So I'm just wondering that from what you were saying, then, habits are quite important, have you developed habits that really work for you and that you try to do on a daily basis or whatever it might be?

Kym Hamer 21:06
Yeah, yeah, I have. It's actually one of the things I coach a lot about is about when you're building a new habit often what people do, and you know, we're coming up to the new year. So you come the new year's resolution things, but we have all these grand plans, we think, Oh, I need to, you know, like transform this area of my life. And I always say, well, when you go to the gym, you don't get fitted straightaway, you you turn out, you wander around a bit, you don't know really what's going to be the most benefit for you. You don't always know how to work machines, or do things properly, say you ask for help. And the first time you go, you feel a bit incompetent and stupid about it. And once you can't do anything, and then afterwards, your hurts, the muscles hurt. And that might be a really small thing. And I say and what we're doing is building a muscle. So don't build yourself. And this is something I take on, don't build yourself the Taj Mahal complete. Like for me, when I restructured this morning, I already was in the habit of gratitude journaling every morning. And I was in the habit of reading at lunchtime. So I just brought that forward. And then what I said was okay, I've not meditated for a couple of, you know, couple of years, it used to be a regular practice, why don't I bring that in. And it's only 10 minutes, you know, and I just sit there for 10 minutes. And sometimes my monkey mind goes off on one, but they were small changes. And I just I have a work plan on my pinboard where I sit every day. And I have a box every day that when I was developing that new habit, I had to mark off the box every day. So it made me build a new habit and build a new muscle. So I think that's, that's something I do a lot and I coach my clients on. And it's really been helpful just thinking about small things, just one small thing you can change and then get that habit.

Tony Winyard 23:07
Do any of your clients struggle trying to implement new habits?

Kym Hamer 23:13
Oh, yeah, that's why I haven't. I mean, one of the things, you know, my coach always says to me as well, his coaching is not just about, you know, someone with the information and and the wisdom, I guess. And the experience, a coach is your accountability partner. So they're the one that holds your feet to the fire and goes, Okay, well, what he was my clients always have sort of a, like a to do list at the end, it might only be one thing, but I take a note of whatever that is. And then when we have our next session, I will go back and say so how did you get on with that? Tell me about that. And and if they haven't? Oh, you know, I'll listen for why sometimes it's a bit a bit more of me holding the feet to the fire. Sometimes there's there's a barrier, like a fear or a concern and we unpick that and then move forward as well. So yeah, I mean, you know, if we all had habits nailed and felt, you know, we were, we were done and sorted in life. You know, we wouldn't need coaches with weight, we wouldn't you know, we wouldn't have the multibillion dollar you know, self help industry in place

Tony Winyard 24:29
What aspects of coaching do you find most enjoyable?

Kym Hamer 24:35
Oh, I, I love the breakthrough moments that the thing for me is, is helping people to understand what they're capable of. And that that it's all within themselves. So I'm a, I call myself a capability builder, whatever that is in business in your personal life. So what what I love is when I might get on a call with a client and talk to them about their last week. And they'll told me about something they took on, that really shifted something. For them, it is so rewarding. I was coaching a client. For a while I was about 16 weeks, this year, through some back to work challenges and that sort of thing, that now she's come through the end of it, and has completely reconfigured how she thinks about her life and what she wants to do and has let go of some stuff that really wasn't serving her. But she, when she wrote me, a testimonial, she called the coaching life changing. And she actually wrote me a poem to say thank you. And, and in that, like, I was so moved, and so humbled that, that I had that impact, and that's the thing. That's the thing, she'll go off and do what she does in life.

Tony Winyard 25:56
Yeah, you refer to a little while ago about that you've read a lot, and many different types of books. So I'm wondering; the value and power of books. Have you ever thought about writing a book yourself?

Kym Hamer 26:10
Yes, I havenseveral times. And I, there's a, there's a discipline thing I started, actually, before the pandemic, I was 13,000 words into a book that I was writing was one of my goals. But when the pandemic hit, I thought, you know, what, there's an imperative when the options get tight, to make sure you can pay the bills and pay your rent on, you know, eat, you know, I like to eat. So I shifted my focus into more immediate income generating staff, you know, there's only 24 hours in the day, so I, you know, I had to make that call. So it's all still sitting there, I think there's probably a reshaping of it, it was the book was about building brand new, but I think there's a reshaping of that, that's potentially there. So project for 2021. Maybe we should talk this time next year, and see if you can hold my feet to the fire on that. But I did contribute a chapter to a book that was launched in November called mastering the game of life. And in it I wrote about that visibility is so much more than just being seen. And it's really my story of, of coming out of corporate life. You know, the age I was facing some some some real challenges about, about health, how much of life I still had ahead of me, and how was I going to fill it. Maybe it was my midlife crisis moment. So you know, that was mastering the game of life, it is available on Amazon. So you can just people can kind of Google that there are 22 different stories, in that from authors all over the world with all with very, very different perspective, some personal stories, some are more sort of tools you can use. So and that was that was a, it was a great opportunity. I think it was a good way of harnessing what little time I had into, you know, providing a story in the world. So it has whet my appetite to get stuck in and do my own thing.

Tony Winyard 28:22
You talked about the books that you read, and the wide variety, some of business and some drama, thriller, fiction, whatever. Do you have to stop yourself getting too many ideas from; I could do this? I could do this? How are you when you read those kind of books?

Kym Hamer 28:42
Yeah, it is a great question. Because particularly I think, last year, when I was sort of new in my own business space, and trying to work out what, what my proposition was, there was definitely a part of that, you know, I also, you know, I have coaching, I work with a number of different coaches. And I think that's really important to be a product of your product. I say, I'm a business coach, I also work with business coaches on my business, you know, so I was getting input from that and then input from and there was a point I kind of went, I have to stop the input. I have so much staff, and I am so confused about what I should do. And when I didn't when I really started to land on the building brand new proposition that helped. But before that, there was some things I went, Okay, I'm not going to do everything. But I'm going to choose two or three things. So one of the things I took on from one of my coaches was a 30 videos in 30 Days Challenge that he had said, if you're going to you're in marketing for a start, but video is the way forward YouTube is the second biggest search engine after Google And people are looking for different types of connection now. So, you know, there was a group of us. And he said, I'm setting you up for 30 videos in 30 Days Challenge. And I actually did that challenge in 2018. And and when I completed it, one, there was a sense of trial that I'd done it. But secondly, it was it, it just shifted how I thought about video. And now it's become a really easy tool for me to use. So it was about focusing and making sure I completed something when it was building brand new. Now when I read, I will have my phone beside me. But it's more about recording notes in Evernote or something like that. When I read something ago, that's a really interesting perspective. I don't sort of take it on there and there, I record it. And then every sort of few weeks, I will just run through all the notes I've taken from you know, the photos I've taken from books I've read and stuff like that. And not everything will be relevant. But because I've got a clearer proposition. It I start to see very clearly, there's six things that could work. But actually, what I'm going to do is focus on the on these next three things for the next month, and get those done. So yeah, it is it's tough when you're I think when you're new, you're all you're not clear of your proposition. But it is about choosing and sticking with the choice.

Tony Winyard 31:41
And when you said about the the 30 videos in 30 days, so I'm presuming where they're short little punchy videos, or what was that?

Kym Hamer 31:50
Well, there was a range. When I it's interesting when I started, and I'm sorry, what if I go back and say, when I started, I did them. Personally, I didn't do any fancy lighting or anything like that I did it on my phone, I did it wherever I was in the house or the park. And I I didn't know what to say I planned a couple of them and thought what will I talk about? But there were days, I you know, I was dreading doing it. Because I thought I don't even know what to say. So the first, probably, maybe six or seven days, the first week was just about getting my face on the camera and talking just getting used to that not not putting any other pressure on myself. So building that muscle.

Kym Hamer 32:47
Well, I didn't have to, but I chose to so the group that I was in, when this code status, the challenge, I made a commitment to them that I would post every video every day in that group. And I tell you, it was such a powerful accountability. Because there there was one day I remember in particular, I was really struggling i was i was really down and I did not want to post I thought I had nothing to say. And I didn't want to put my kind of, you know, sad face on video that makes sense. And I thought no, I told them I would. I told them that they would. So I went and sat in the back garden. You know, I was I think I was in the gym t shirt and you know, not great hair and all that. And I just sat in front of the fine and tall and said, I don't I don't really want to do this today. But I promised you I would. So here I am. And I you know, I talked for a couple of minutes about that I was really struggling and you know, was in a bit of a difficult place. And then posted it. And what was interesting is that it was a it was a breakthrough in just doing it just because I said the second thing was it was one of the most popular videos, because people said, we all go through that. And we really related to you sitting in front of a camera and going I'm just I just don't want to do it. I just don't want to.

Kym Hamer 34:15
that was that was tough. Again, those first seven days were short videos, maybe three or four minutes, not too structured. Then I, you know, got over the fact I thought I looked funny and sounded funny and armed all the time. And I couldn't stop myself from talking. There are some there that are like 15 minutes. And I try I started to try different things. Now I'm a bit of an advocate of let's not go more than three or four minutes. It's a snippet. But yeah, it That was two years ago and I continue to grow and learn stuff about how to do.

Tony Winyard 34:55
It sounds like that process taught you a lot.

Unknown Speaker 34:59
It did. Did it. I mean, there's the practical skills. I think you learn about how to look reasonable on video, and you start to not get critical about what you see of other people, but you start to notice other people and kind of sometimes it'll be like, Oh, that looks a bit weird. I wonder whether I do that. So you you self evaluate. But the other thing is, you see what works? What works really? Well? Yeah, I hadn't thought about that, before. Being part of the professional speaking Association here in the UK has been really useful for that, because I'm around professional speakers all the time. And they just have its little bits of nuggets here. And there, you know, don't on a zoom call, I just did a podcast on on are you being seen on screen referencing the zoom call? And one of the tips I said, which people came back and said, I never thought about like that before, was don't like yourself from behind, because otherwise, you'd come across like a creepy, you know, criminal person that's been interviewed on one of those, those programmes and you can't see their face, I said, you need to be lit from sort of the side and, and, and make sure that people can actually see your face. And everybody said, I never thought about that before. And I thought I did. So I think there's the practical skills, but it can't say specifically what I learned. But there's something about breaking through stuff like that, that teaches you that you're more capable than you think you're better at things.

Tony Winyard 36:44
So say for example, in the next couple of months, you decided, right, I'm going to implement this new service in my business, do you think now you'd be much more likely to use video as a tool to get that out there or what?

Kym Hamer 37:00
Definitely, definitely, one of the things I'm currently working on is an on demand building brand new programme. And before it would have been much more written and slide, slide driven, PowerPoint driven. But now, once I build the frame, into LearnDash, which is the tool I'll be using, is, is what I'll be doing is snippet videos. So it will be supporting material, but actually videos, or audios or slides. There'll be short, and yeah, and I can see how much easier it is. The other thing I think I've learned that really helps and you know, we were talking about this off air is using tools like transcription, automatic transcription, and repurposing the content that you have. So if I'm doing a video, I can translate it into a an audio for a podcast, I can get a transcription and write it as an article I can, you know, do social media quotes and sound bites, all that sort of thing. So you do something once and then you extract lots of value.

Tony Winyard 38:15
Do you see yourself, you've been here was it 17 years? Can you see yourself ever relocating to another country? Or maybe going back to Oz? Or do you think you'll be staying in the UK?

Kym Hamer 38:31
Yeah, I really don't know I love living in the UK, I actually hold dual citizenship. Now. I love going back to Australia, there may come a time in my life where I do want to move back. But right now it just feels very isolated. I love the way that being in London was said to people, it feels like I've moved to the centre of the world, like you're impacted by stuff going on in the world. Whereas in Australia, I didn't always feel like that. And I love my life here. But that's not to say that some shift or opportunity in life might might say, Okay, well maybe it's time for something else. And the interesting thing is, is that I think once you've done it once, all of a sudden you go Oh, actually, I could do that again. I you know, I moved to London. It was a very quick decision back in 2003. I decided at the end of the year and I was here at the end of January. And it was it was really tough at first but I built a really happy life I learned a lot about myself I feel really fulfilled who's to say I couldn't do that somewhere else.

Tony Winyard 39:43
Once you've broke through that initial fear is actually far easier... I've done it a number of times and to me... I wouldn't think twice about it because I've done it so many times but so many people would tell me oh you must have been really brave. It's actually nowhere near as difficult as people think it is.

Kym Hamer 40:05
it's really interesting you say that, Tony, because I think that comes up a lot people kind of look at, you know, what we do and who we are and and they say all you do all these brave things. And you kind of go Well, yeah, there may be things that we don't think twice about anymore. But there's still things that scare the bejesus out of me. You know, that, you know, I remember pitching my first price, you know, I'm standing in a workshop and I was pitching my first, you know, pay for me to do something for you, I thought I was going to be sick. I've never really had to do that for myself. I'd done it in business. But once I've done it once, I remember a friend kind of celebrating with me afterwards and going you've done it, you've done the first one. And, and sometimes it's just, it is taking just that little courage in your hand and making just a small first step.

Tony Winyard 41:00
And that's that is the thing, isn't it? And so many people would don't ever get anywhere close to taking that first step. And then they just go through their life, maybe thinking, Wow, that is too difficult. I couldn't do that. But But if they'd have, or maybe if they've had help from from someone, such as yourself, it would have been much easier to make that step which they thought was impossible.

Unknown Speaker 41:23
Yeah, and that's what I that's what I love. You talked earlier about what I love about coaching, and that is the thing I love about coaching is, is getting people to the point of starting to ask them to say to themselves, why not? Instead of Why should I do that and saying that fear is normal, just but just make a decision? It only has to be a small step. What, you know, what I would say to everybody who's listening is, you know, what's the small step you could take today? What's the small thing you could do? Tomorrow? What you know, that that is how we grow? and growing is painful. They're not called Growing Pains for nothing.

Tony Winyard 42:12
People you've been coaching, since you've been doing coaching, what would you say is the most recurrent theme that comes up or issue that people struggle with the most?

Kym Hamer 42:25
So procrastination is probably the biggest challenge. And I think it's so procrastination is the big word for it, I guess. And what I do is, is help my clients to unpick what in the way of them doing that. And I've had clients talk to me about it's a bit of a controversial one, this, I have imposter syndrome. And I will say to them, well, you don't actually have imposter syndrome. imposter syndrome is a conversation you're having in your head. And it's not, I'm not downplaying how, how serious or impactful it can be on our lives. But you don't have it like an illness, you this is a thing that we can start to shift the conversation around. So for some people, it's that for some people, it's too busy, with lots of ideas a bit like, you know, shiny Penny syndrome, oh, I could do all these things, I could do all these things. And then it just occurs like a big, too much to do, and they do nothing. So for for other people, it's about taking that make having them choose. And sometimes part of the coaching is will be going from week to week or conversation to conversation. And what they will be talking about is, oh, you know, I did this thing, but I saw this, and I saw this and part of my role is to hold them accountable to the three things they said they do. It doesn't it almost doesn't matter what those three things are. But it's about the building the muscle of choosing, and doing what you say. just choosing and following up choosing and taking the steps necessary, because we have so much choice and as you referred to earlier. You know, there's a lot of inputs out there. I do a lot of reading. I have business coaches. You know, you and I are speakers. So we're, you know, we're getting input from everywhere. And there are ideas all over the place. And sometimes it's just a matter of going Okay, stop. Just stop. Let me just recalibrate a bit and choose what are the things I'm going to grow? What are the things I'm going to take forward?

Tony Winyard 44:42
Well, Kim, if people want to find out more about you where is your website and so on.

Unknown Speaker 44:50
Well, I it's an interesting question Tony. I have one of these amazing names that is unusual spelling and is easy to Google and what are I will do if people want to grab a pen and paper or put a note on your phone, if you're interested in following me somewhere, is I will spell it. And then you can choose, you can just google me and choose whatever platform you want. So I'm on Instagram, I'm on Facebook, I'm on LinkedIn, I'm on YouTube, you'll find me on on Google easily. So the way to spell my name is Kym Hamer. So if you pop that into Google, I'm very active on social media accounts, my website will come up so you can actually choose where you where you'd like to engage with me, what's the best plan?

Tony Winyard 45:43
And I'm just wondering, you mentioned about your YouTube channel. In those that 30 Day Challenge. Did you put any of those videos on YouTube?

Kym Hamer 45:51
They're all there. Yeah, yeah. So maybe, maybe Tony, I'm, I'm happy to give you the link for that. And people can actually see how truly dreadful I was at the start. And maybe you can take on watching one of my videos every day, and that can be your Muscle Builder,

Tony Winyard 46:11
I would certainly put that link in the show notes.

Kym Hamer 46:16
Brilliant. Now, I'm in trouble.

Tony Winyard 46:20
So is there a book that you would recommend to listeners?

Unknown Speaker 46:27
Yes, there is. And it's one I recommend to a lot of my coaching clients, actually. And it's something that that really solidified this whole, taking small steps and building the muscle. And it's a book called The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. And the reason I love it is there's lots of books out there that talk about, you know, new habits and forming new habits and that sort of thing. What I love about the slight edge is it also looks at, at the when I say that the bad habits. So why do we reach for the second doughnut? You know, why, you know, at my worst, I might order takeaway twice a week or something like that. And what he does is talks about the impact over time of all of those small decisions we make, whether they're good for us, or they don't serve us. And it it's become almost a standard that I recommend to clients. So it's the slight edge by Jeff Olson, when

Tony Winyard 47:29
How long ago was that you first read that

Kym Hamer 47:34
three years ago?

Tony Winyard 47:35
And is it a book that you've come back to a couple of times because it was so impactful?

Unknown Speaker 47:39
Definitely. Definitely. And I think every time so I don't often, I don't reread fiction books and things like that. But, but books that really make an impact on me, like the slight edge, and there's a, there's a few others that I really love. I keep I keep them on the bookshelf. And I will go back, and I might not read the whole thing, but I go back and read a chapter, or I'll see a snippet somewhere and go, Oh, I'd love to revisit that. And I always read it with different eyes and get either something consolidated, or something new.

Tony Winyard 48:15
It's fascinating, like you I read a lot. And I there's been many books I've read more than once. And it I find it fascinating that, I read a book, say, three years ago, and then I'll come back to it again two years later. And I'll find a passage or a sentence or even a paragraph and I don't remember this at all. And I've just come to the conclusion it's because I'm in a different place from where I was two or three years ago or five years ago, whatever it was, and it didn't really resonate with me then and now it really does.

Kym Hamer 48:51
Yeah, yeah, I completely agree. I mean, the transformation for me my personal transformation when I look back over the last two years of you know who I was at the start of my entrepreneurial journey and who I am now I often say to people when I when I say I'm barely recognisable Kim still there, Kim still all there and all that sort of thing, but it's like I barely recognise myself I just it's it's it's humbling that looking back and thinking Wow, I can't believe this. I'm this person that that did all this and and it gives me confidence and I feel excited about the future, even though I don't know quite what the plan will be. You know, I don't have a five year plan or anything like that, because I think so much changes I have some bigger visions about what I want out of my life but, but that's what makes this so excited.

Tony Winyard 49:51
To finish, is there a quotation that you particularly like?

Unknown Speaker 49:56
Yes, there is. It's actually something that was sent to me by my mom. About two years ago, and it really encapsulates, I think the discussion she and I have always had, and particularly now become an entrepreneur. So let me read it to you. It's a Rudyard Kipling quote, "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely, often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

Tony Winyard 50:33
Why do you think that speaks to you?

Unknown Speaker 50:37
many of the conversations I had with with mom growing up, were, particularly in my career is that I always seem to want something different, or more, or I was just never satisfied, I think is better, you know, I drove myself really hard. And I remember, you know, sometimes, you know, crying over something, or going to mom and saying, Why can't I just settle like other other people seem so content, and I always seem to want more what you know, and, you know, drives me crazy. And sometimes it hurts. Sometimes. It's just frightening. You know, Why do I always have to want more or be different and stuff like that? You know, I don't remember the specific thing she said. But she always made me feel like that she knew it was tough. And that go forward sort of thing. And when she sent me this, I just, I read it. And I went, that is at the heart of every conversation we've had and, and I now know what the privilege of owning yourself is. And I agree completely that no prices too.

Tony Winyard 51:56
Well, Kym, it's been a real pleasure speaking to you for the last hour, thank you for your time. And yeah, I really enjoyed that.

Kym Hamer 52:04
My pleasure. Thanks for the opportunity, Tony.

Tony Winyard 52:10
Next week is Episode 23, with Timothy Moser, and he's the creator of Master of Memory, it's a website and a coaching service. And he's written some books around learning how to learn. And he's got quite a unique way of teaching Spanish, which helps you become far more fluent. And so he starts off with the main words that you that are really needed to actually get by if you're in Spain, or a Spanish speaking country. And so that those words really become ingrained before you start to widen your vocabulary. So that's next week with Timothy Moser. We're gonna learn a lot more about learning how to learn memory techniques, and also a bit of learning how to learn Spanish specifically. So that's next week's episode. Hope you've enjoyed today's show with Kym. If you do like this episode, if you know anyone who gets to could get some more value from this, why not share the episode with them. And if you like the show, please do subscribe, leave a review and I hope you have a great week.